Without Julie I would be sunk. She is tireless, beyond loving, patient, and very funny. She has weathered as many arduous stretches as I in this journey with my mother. Yesterday we were consulting with doctors, stocking up on meds, and getting our ducks in a row for the surgery scheduled for next week.

We went to "Total Joint Class" (I know, sounds like a course at Hampshire College!) at the hospital, just so we could pepper the team with questions, and try to push them to understand something of the reality of getting someone with dementia through something they do not understand. Of course, we encountered the usual passing of the buck. No one wants to commit to helping, they will always put the onus on the next department. Even armed with the fresh experience of last November, we were expertly blown off:

PA: No, orthopedic anesthesia doesn't consult with geriatric anesthesia.

me: why not.

PA: they just don't. we get whoever we get that day.

me: don't you think it might be good for everyone to share knowledge in this case? what about helping with anxiety before anesthesia, we had a disaster last time. no one listened to me. no one helped on the way in or out.

PA: that's up to the hospital, you'll just have to see what you can do on the day of surgery.

me: Really? Dr ____ is the head of the entire orthopedic department and he can't arrange for family to be with mom before and after.

PA: that's up to the hospital

me: wow. So I guess it will be just like last time. Are you ready for the terror, screaming, disorientation. really?

PA: she got through it right?

me: you are fucking kidding me right?

And so it goes. So we stocked up on silly pictures to diffuse the frustration.

Not sure what "Henna 'n' Placenta" is but I'm sure we need some.

green? not as good as....

rock and roll Julie.

Julie is going to Minneapolis for the weekend to re-charge and attend the 100th birthday party of her partner Jim's mom's boyfriend ED!!!

Happy Birthday Ed! And we love you Jules.